nipple-quake:

Does anyone know where i can find that magic art thats a guy getting slapped in the face by a fish with a brick tied to it?

why the hell is Noggin Whack getting revitalized after all this time?

simonalkenmayer:

ladyghirahim:

cheshireinthemiddle:

bprinny:

cheshireinthemiddle:

twofacetoo:

cheshireinthemiddle:

dyffrosfeatherchord:

cheshireinthemiddle:

I just had a 20 minute conversation explaining to a customer what chicken wings were.

Did you say that they were wings from a chicken? @cheshireinthemiddle

Didnt work

I can imagine the phrase ‘BUT THEY DON’T FLY, HOW CAN THEY HAVE WINGS?!’ being used at least twice

It was worse

Can you please explain in detail how it was worse

Customer: what kind of chicken do you use for your fried chicken wings?

Me: im unsure of the brand, but i can check

Customer: no, what part of the chicken is it?

Me: im sorry?

Customer: like what is it made out of?

Me: they are chicken wings.

Customer: i dont think you understand my question. Is it chicken thigh, or chicken breast?

Me: it is made with chicken wings.

Customer: okay, you arent hearing me. Chicken is sold in different parts. What oart are you selling?

Me: chicken wings. The dish is fried chicken wings. Are you perhaps asking if they are boneless? They arent. They are actual bone in wings.

Customer: Im asking what *type* of chicken it is. You are making this way more difficult than it has to be.

Me: here, our menu has a picture of the dish. These are the chicken wings available today.

Customer: how can i tell what kind of chicken it is if it is covered in brown crunchies?

Me: brown…crunchies? These are certainly chicken wings. You can see the bone here.

Customer: can i speak to the manager? You dont know what youre talking about.

Me: actually i am acting manager until we get a new hire.

Customer: all i want to know is what kind of chicken you are serving.

Me: fried chicken wings.

This went on for 20 whole minutes. She didnt even order the meal.

This is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever read

Was she a toddler magically aged 30 years so that she can experience a day in the life of a human adult?

“Do you have any fresh raisins?”

freakinfishtank:

lostovae:

Wisdom teeth are so weird cause my body is like, “hey I know you are done growing but would you like some…MORE TEETH???? And I’m like, “hell no, theres no room,” but then my body is still like *slamming fists on table* “more teeth! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! M O R E T E E T H”

Oh there’s no room? That’s fine we’ll just gRoW TheM IN FuvKiNg SIDEWAYS

softbutxh:

mlkjr:

korolevx:

korolevx:

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

what does Quil do

All the time all the time

strawberryspoons:

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future